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Guest Blog submitted by Brianna:

I have never really understood the hesitation some Navy wives show about being a part of wives groups and/or talking with their Ombudsman. I have had an abundance of awesome ombudsmen and only one that was so-so. I actually became an Ombudsman as well, and worked so hard to make sure that the wives knew if they needed anything I was readily available.

It wasn’t until last week that I finally figured it out.

I was waiting in the medical building where we are stationed for some shot records. While I was waiting there there were three Navy wives deep in converstation. I couldn’t help but over hear the things they were discussing as I was sitting right in the middle of them. They went from things like “Where are you from?”, “Where have you been stationed before?”, “Do you live in Housing?” those types of things. After listening awhile I learned that the youngest wife was dealing with her first patrol. I hate hearing that because I remember how hard mine was so that immediately tugs at my heart strings. But she seemed to be doing very well. Here comes the kicker. One of the wives spoke up and said “Take this from a Navy wife of 6 years. Go to your wives meetings.” I could feel my heart beating out of my chest! I was SO EXCITED that I finally heard someone talking good about wives groups. Thank goodness. But then after the short silence the wife spoke again “Go to the wives meetings and get boat information and then leave. Don’t go to social functions or the childrens functions. Thats where the drama is.” I could actually feel her words spread across the room. It’s like is was a disease infecting anyone who came in contact with them. I was crushed. Here this young wife sat so impressionable and so lost as she lived far from home and here I thought she was getting some legitimate advice.  It took everything in me not to speak up but I held my tounge.

As I sat there I looked back on when I was President of the wives group, then when I became Ombudsman and I remember having wives that would only come for boat information. I would work SO HARD to get them to be a part of our activities but only a few would be willing. These words are so reckless. Anyone hearing this converstation would be inclined not to go to wives groups because of these comments.

Just because one Ombudsman is bad doens’t mean they all are.

Just because one wives group was bad doesn’t mean they all are.

You can only hope that the people in charge of the wives group will help to put an end to any of the silliness that may happen. But please don’t judge a book by its cover. The wives group is a GREAT place to meet people and is very helpful in keeping you busy during deployments. So if you haven’t given your wives group or Ombudsman a shot lately please go test the waters. You never know, you may walk away with a friend for life!”

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Thanks B.!

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